Thursday, June 14, 2012

What I Love About My Job

In the day-to-day of my job, I encounter a lot of people who have really sex-negative attitudes and lots of insecurities about sex. These insecurities come out in different ways - sometimes people just totally shut down and become quiet/shy/embarrassed, and sometimes people say and do incredibly inappropriate things because they're uncomfortable talking or thinking about sex (mocking various sex acts, waving dildos around in the air, holding a toy up to their partner's genitals in the store - I wish I was kidding about that last one). All this sex-negativity can be really frustrating for a sex educator who's just trying to make people happy and comfortable with their own pleasure! Sometimes I come home from work and I'm all grumbly and upset, thinking "Why can't these people just ignore social pressures and be openminded about sex??"

Of course it's not as simple as all that, and if it was, my job would be kind of unnecessary! So it's nice to remind myself now and again why I love my work.

1) I'm changing the world! I like to think of myself as a sex superhero (still working on finding a cape). So much of people's insecurities about sex comes from being unsure what they're "allowed" to do. In my workshops and in the store, I continually give people permission and affirmation to have whatever desires they want. You want to learn how to stimulate your G-spot and ejaculate? Yes, do it! You want to put something up your butt? Good for you! Are you turned on by something that might be a little taboo? Embrace that about yourself! It's so rewarding to see people's faces visibly relax when they realize that they're finally in a judgment-free zone, and when they realize that it might actually be okay to have the desires they have.

2) My coworkers are AWESOME! Seriously, I think they're the best people in the world. I am so lucky to have a family of coworkers who care about and support one another, both in the workplace and in our various endeavors outside of work. We all bring different skills and knowledge to the table, and we've kind of perfected the whole working together as a team thing. It helps that we try our hardest to create a sex-positive, safe environment in the store and in our interactions with one another, always listening closely and being respectful of people's boundaries (see tomorrow's post on healthy communication! Whoa, foreshadowing).

3) Surprise! When people first meet me, I have a tendency to come off as a sweet little girl, about 10 years younger than I actually am. I get a lot of "sweetheart," "cutie," and "honey" in my everyday life, even from complete strangers who really should not be using these terms of endearment with someone they don't even know! There's nothing wrong with being "cute," and over time, I've learned to accept this about myself. But I also enjoy being a badass once in a while, and my job lets me do just that. I get a gleeful pleasure when people come into the store, come talk to me because I look "safe," and then proceed to be completely shocked when I casually throw around words like "dick," "pussy," "cock ring," "butt plug," etc. Of course, I'm trying to make them feel comfortable with these concepts too. But the juxtaposition of my "sweet" face and the "dirty" words coming out of my mouth is really satisfying to me. :-)

Anyway, I think it's important and useful in life to remember the things we're grateful for, and those are just a few of the reasons that I am really grateful for my work. Yay, now I feel much less grumbly!

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