Persexionism

Here's a problem that exists: Since sex is so taboo in our culture, nobody talks about it openly and honestly, so everyone (or the majority of people, anyway) is super afraid that they're DOING IT WRONG! Or that their desires are not what they should be. Or that their bodies are not what they should be. Or that there needs to be this norm of what "should be" when it comes to anything involving sex. Sex perfectionism. Otherwise known as "persexionism" (yes, I did just invent that).

I'm a crazy perfectionist. That's actually why I'm not very good at blogging, because I'd rather not write a post at all than write an imperfect one. It's something I constantly struggle with in all areas of my life, and I know I'm not the only one. There are lots of perfectionists out there, and this is for all of us.

We need to give ourselves permission to be less than perfect. We need to give ourselves permission to make mistakes. Some of the best moments and happiest times (and best stories!) of my life have come from doing something that, if I had fully thought it through, I probably would never have done. I'm a big believer in living an interesting life, and an interesting life means sometimes doing things that you maybe shouldn't do, and sometimes pushing yourself to do things that you might not feel you're ready to do.

There was a big change in my life a few months ago, and since then, I've been trying to live life moment to moment, one day at a time. I'm not doing much planning ahead these days which, while maybe not the wisest life decision, is really refreshing for me. I'm trying as best as I can to say yes to every opportunity that comes my way. Sometimes this is awesome and I'm on top of the world, and sometimes it sucks and I hate it, but I really want to push myself to live life and not worry so much about making everything perfect.

I totally don't want this to come off as a lecture or anything of the sort, because this is a thing I struggle with myself every day. I just think that giving yourself permission to do what you want and be what you want is so important. Every day, I see this with customers who come to me with questions about sex: "Are my desires ok?" "Am I normal?" "Is it okay for me to be in this store/at this workshop/in my body?" And most of what I do at my job is give people permission, tell them YES, it is perfectly wonderful to be exactly who you are and to want exactly what you want. And don't worry so much about being normal, because there is no normal.

It's so easy for me to say this to customers, but sometimes hard for me to always apply it to my own life. I am a work in progress, and I struggle every day to remember that the beauty is in the process, not in the final product.