Pregnant? No Thanks.

Last night, I took a really amazing yoga class that focused on appreciating the body during menstruation. The teacher talked about menstruation as a great opportunity our bodies give us to let go of whatever we're holding onto that we no longer actually need, whether it's physical, mental or emotional. I ended the class feeling a newfound sense of appreciation and love for my body.

Which is why I was so incredibly annoyed that I had yet another pregnancy dream last night! For those of you who are not cursed blessed with these dreams, or for those who may not be familiar with the concept, a pregnancy dream is your body's not so subtle way of nudging you and saying "Hey lady person, remember what you're evolutionarily supposed to be doing during this phase of your life?" Through conversations with other women around my age, I've found that this is actually a really common phenomenon.

My first pregnancy dream happened when I was in college, working hard while overloading on classes and not even a little bit wanting to be pregnant. I dreamed one night that I was pregnant and due pretty soon, but the weirdest part of the dream was that I was SO HAPPY that I was pregnant. In the dream, my pregnancy was all I could think about, and I was absolutely thrilled about it. When I woke up, I was actually a little bloated that morning, so I reached down in horror to feel a slightly rounded belly. I proceeded to have a minor freakout until my half-asleep mind could process the information that I hadn't even had sex with anyone in the last six months or so, so there was literally zero chance that I was actually pregnant.

Ever since that first time, these dreams have felt like a struggle between me and my body. Sometimes I already have a child and another is on the way, sometimes I've just found out I'm pregnant, sometimes I'm having twins! While I am not at all at a place in my life where I want to have children, my body is 26 years old and healthy, and it clearly feels like it should be making babies.

Here's the thing: I don't want to fight my body. I want my body, mind and soul to live in perfect harmony and always be in complete agreement with each other! I want them to dance and frolic together in a field of flowers while unicorns jump over rainbows. However, life seems to have other plans for me.

Just like every other relationship in my life, the relationship between my mind, body and soul is one of compromise. If I can't give my body babies right now, I will make it happy in other ways, with yoga classes and yummy food and plenty of sunshine and healthy amounts of sleep (when possible). And just like with every other relationship in my life, when there is compromise and healthy communication, it will ultimately lead to a deep and fulfilling relationship. And if any relationship in my life is going to be deeply fulfilling, it had better be my relationship with myself.